Red flags in a first date: what's already noticeable in messages
Before meeting in person, the way someone new writes already reveals a lot about how they relate.
Why it's worth looking at before meeting in person
It's not about over-analyzing every message, but paying attention to patterns that, if already present in the getting-to-know-you phase, tend to intensify later: how they react to a no, how they talk about past people, how much pressure they exert to speed things up.
Signs that are worth paying attention to
Insist after you've set a clear boundary (time, pace, type of plan); talk negatively about all of his ex-partners without nuances; ask for sensitive personal information very early (address, financial situation); change tone abruptly if you take too long to respond or say you can't meet up.
Signs that are definitely good news
Ask and then respond based on what you said (not just wait for your turn to talk about yourself); respect a "I can't today" without insisting or cooling off abruptly; the conversation pace feels similar for both, without one chasing and the other being pursued.
Before your first meeting
If something in the conversation has raised doubts in you, there's no need to ignore it just because it's "not excessive." You can continue meeting with usual precautions (public place, informing someone) and, if you have conversation captures, review them calmly before deciding how to proceed.
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